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News: Franciscan Outlook
Cultivating a More Peaceful Life
Sister Sally Ann Brickner
Director of the St. Norbert College Peace & Justice Center |
As we follow Jesus during the New Year, we can live life more peacefully. It is not difficult to do, especially if we live in the present moment rather than worrying about the past or anticipating the future. Jesus is with us in the NOW, and we with Him in this very moment.
One way to cultivate a more peaceful life is to act mindfully in each moment. We can be conscious of our breathing, reminding ourselves that it is the Holy Spirit who breathes in us. We can be reflective as we eat, for the food comes from God and gives us strength to do God’s will. We can be aware of and enjoy the life God gives us as it pulses through our bodies when we sit, or stand, or walk.
Another way to cultivate a more peaceful life is to watch our patterns of communication and to speak only nonviolently. There are four components to nonviolent communication. First, observe what is happening and state the behavior without judging or evaluating it. Then, express your feelings about the situation. Also state your needs, that is, the way the behavior affects you. Finally, make a specific request for action. For example, “When you come in and don’t greet me I get upset and wonder what I might have done that hurt you. I need you to tell me how you are feeling and what you most need from me at the moment – even if it be silence for a while.” Notice how this form of communication calls you to personal honesty and also reverences the other person by not judging or evaluating him or her. Nonviolent communication enables us to give from the heart by hearing our own deeper needs and those of others.
To forgive others and to readily ask forgiveness of others is to cultivate a more peaceful life. Jesus calls us to love one another as He has loved us. But we don’t always love as Jesus did, and sometimes we need to ask forgiveness of another because we have wronged the person. When asking another for forgiveness, it is best to begin by sharing some appreciation of the other person’s positive attributes. Then, express regret for the things you have said or done that caused the other pain or suffering. Also share your own hurt or pain with loving speech, not blaming or criticizing the other. Invite the person to help you understand why s/he has said or done something that caused you pain.
These actions – living mindfully, communicating nonviolently, and seeking forgiveness - require daily practice. To do so will enable us to live a more peaceful life. And that will change the whole world!
-- Sister Sally Ann Brickner
Director of the St. Norbert College Peace & Justice Center
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